YYY

1.

I look in the mirror and I see that this is not me....this is just an image and looks so fake. It is not me...I do not want to be...

2.

The worst days of my life. I did not think of this before..I feel more anxious about my future capturedness...It did not hapen with such a strenght ever before and probably never will again.
I am going to a big hole of the unknown: order, disciplinie, irrationality. I am really scared. I don't want to, but I have no other choice citizen. (or without high rank connections).

3.

I have dedicated last 10 years of my life to support for the people around the world:

-promoting critical positive and thinking and skepticism
-promoting right to privacy
-promoting Declaration of Human Rights
-developing openness, intercultural awareness, and peaceful conflict resolution
-respecting the differences and minorities within the society
-cherishing beauty of the world, environmental and community friendly traveling
-developing ecological way of life

...(sth I cant read)

What if all these are possible?

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These notes, I think, were taken some 5 days prior to conscription.